A Bloody Housewarming With Little Bite

MOVIE REVIEW
The Teenage Vampire
-     

Genre: Horror, Thriller
Year: 2026
Runtime: 1h 25m
Director: Frank Mora
Writer(s): Asif Akbar, Frank Mora
Cast: Jazlyn Nicolette Sward, Kelly Lynn Reiter, James Chalke, Spice Williams-Crosby, Luke Gregory Crosby, Courtney Akbar, Michael Cervantes, Alexa Villalta
Where to Watch: on demand and digital beginning October 27, 2026

RAVING REVIEW: The vampires in this spend so much time hissing that I started wishing someone would give them something more to do. THE TEENAGE VAMPIRE has the ingredients for an entertainingly corny horror movie, including landlords with a lot on their agenda, a party that goes terribly wrong, and a woman whose new independence comes with an unexpected problem. It struggles to keep you invested beyond that. It has a few redeeming touches and an ending with a little personality, but it gets there through awkward performances, distracting editing, and attempts at menace that rarely land. It knew what it wanted to be; it just wasn't quite sure how to get there.

Jazlyn Nicolette Sward plays Sandra, an eighteen-year-old moving into a Hollywood Hills bungalow pool house for $300 bucks a month with parties and romance on her mind. Her landlords, Viktor and Isabelle, played by James Chalke and Spice Williams-Crosby, have considerably less innocent ideas in store. They’re ancient vampires who were already ancient when they became vampires lol; Sandra’s guests offer a chance to feed. Director Frank Mora, who co-wrote the screenplay with Asif Akbar, leans into the exaggeration and suggests we recognize and enjoy the ridiculousness.

I don’t object to that approach. A vampire B-movie doesn’t need to be especially sophisticated, and I’m happy to meet them on their own terms when the humor, horror, or sheer absurdity gives me something to enjoy. The problem is how often the film seems content to play it safe. The beats are recognizable, but they don’t consistently produce enough humor, scares, or excess.

The editing is one of the biggest obstacles. Cuts land in odd places, and the movement between shots often draws attention away from the situation instead of helping establish it. Instead of settling into a conversation or following a developing threat, I kept noticing the decisions being made around it. An abrupt cut can create surprise, but repeated disruption eventually makes the movie feel like it's assembled from pieces that don’t quite sit comfortably next to one another.

That unevenness becomes detrimental when the film tries to build atmosphere around Viktor and Isabelle. The couple is clearly intended to project an alluring combination of danger and secrecy. Their behavior certainly makes them people Sandra should avoid, but it feels more uncomfortable than intriguing. Being creepy establishes a warning sign; it doesn’t automatically make a character compelling to watch. The performances keep emphasizing how suspicious these people are without offering enough curiosity.

There’s also an awkward attempt at the sort of seduction and danger associated with ’90s erotic thrillers. THE TEENAGE VAMPIRE reaches toward that through its landlords and their predatory interest, yet never develops the tension needed to make it convincing. It suggests a more adult thriller while often feeling closer to a made-for-television teenage drama. Those moments don’t always align, leaving the movie unsure about how it wants its audience to respond.

The acting follows a similar pattern. Performances vary considerably in tone and intensity, making it difficult to believe everyone is in the same film. Some seem to ask for genuine concern, some are unintentionally funny, and the in-between moments aren’t handled smoothly enough for either to feel legit. The cast isn’t helped by a script that keeps shifting between teenage angst, exaggerated villainy, and supposedly knowing humor without establishing a clear balance.

Sandra’s age gives the story a focused perspective, but the teenage-drama elements don’t add enough personality to distinguish the film. Parties, flirtation, fun, and freedom are reasonable concerns for someone beginning this stage of life. However, they make it feel like the horror is being fit around a different kind of movie. I wanted more urgency, or a stronger comic identity, once the supernatural threat really started to amp up, rather than another uncertain tonal adjustment.

The self-referential aspect is frustrating for the same reason. THE TEENAGE VAMPIRE tries to acknowledge its own genre and invite the audience into the joke, but awareness alone doesn’t make the idea funny enough to work. The observation needs something worthwhile, or an amusing way of delivering it. Too often, the movie feels happy to recognize a cliché without doing enough with it. It feels like too many cooks were in the kitchen.

The distinction between camp and awkwardness matters here. Exaggeration can be entertaining when the movie commits to it, but the scattered cuts and conflicting performances make that hard. I couldn’t settle into laughing along because I was often distracted by how the moment was put together. The silliness needed more confidence and less insistence. Sometimes letting an absurd situation play out works better than repeatedly nudging the audience to tell them it’s supposed to be absurd.

That becomes a problem when the horror itself is so mild. The vampires’ exaggerated behavior makes them cheesy more often than scary, and the repeated hissing eventually loses whatever threat it had at the start. The film keeps returning to aggression that gets less convincing with repetition. That kind of theatrical behavior fits a playful vampire movie, but it needs better timing or a broader sense of fun to stay entertaining.

The creatures do have a few tricks beyond just approaching someone with exposed fangs. Without getting into the mechanics, their ability to manipulate potential victims adds a deceptive layer to the threat. That’s a welcome idea because it offers more possibilities than another straightforward vampire hunting its prey. It also hints at a more mischievous film, one that enjoys misleading its characters and audience rather than repeatedly telling us who the dangerous people are.

The ending provides the best glimpse of that possibility. There’s a twist that I found at least a little fun, and it gives the film a late burst of the playfulness I’d been looking for. I won’t spoil it, because it’s one of the few elements that deserves to retain its surprise. It doesn’t fix the earlier problems, but it shows there was an entertaining idea beneath all the strained attempts to make the material interesting.

FRIGHT NIGHT is an obvious point of comparison for the dangerous-neighbor premise, but the difference isn’t simply budget or polish. That kind of story benefits from a strong relationship between attraction, suspicion, and fear. THE TEENAGE VAMPIRE pushes the suspicious behavior so hard that the other elements have little room to develop. Its villains visibly work at being mysterious, while the film’s humor keeps drawing attention to the world around them.

I came away more worn down by the effort than entertained by the results. The corny parts occasionally offer small moments of joy, and the final bit earns some credit, but neither provides enough to offset the rough production. THE TEENAGE VAMPIRE keeps reaching for cleverness, sex appeal, and scares while struggling with the acting and editing needed to make those ambitions connect. The film wanted to be scary, but not scary enough; sexy, but not sexy enough; thrilling, but not thrilling enough. By the end, I was glad it had found one enjoyable surprise, and disappointed that the rest of the movie gave it so little support.

Please visit https://linktr.ee/overlyhonestr for more reviews.

Follow me on Letterboxd, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. You can also find my social media accounts on most platforms by searching for 'Overly Honest Reviews'.

I’m always happy to hear from my readers; please don't hesitate to say hello or send me any movie questions.

[photo courtesy of LIONSGATE, AVAIL ENTERTAINMENT, MARDINA MEDIA, GRINDSTONE ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

DISCLAIMER:
At Overly Honest Movie Reviews, we value honesty and transparency. Occasionally, we receive complimentary items for review, including DVDs, Blu-rays, CDs, Vinyl Records, Books, and more. We assure you these arrangements do not influence our reviews, as we are committed to unbiased, sincere evaluations. We aim to help you make informed entertainment choices regardless of our relationship with distributors or producers.

Amazon Affiliate Links:
This site also contains Amazon affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, we may receive a commission. This affiliate arrangement does not affect our commitment to honest reviews and helps support our site. We appreciate your trust and support as you navigate these links.