Ridiculous, Absurd, and Somehow Still Entertaining
MOVIE REVIEW
Dinosaur Valley Girls [Visual Vengeance Collector's Edition]
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Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Year Released: 1996, Visual Vengeance Blu-ray 2025
Runtime: 1h 34m
Director(s): Don Glut
Writer(s): Don Glut
Cast: Jeff Rector, William Marshall, Griffin Drew, Karen Black, Harrison Ray, Beth Landau, Carrie Vanston, Denise Ames, Forrest J. Ackerman, Ed Fury, Donna Spangler
Where To Watch: available February 25, 2025; pre-order your copy here: www.mvdshop.com or www.amazon.com
RAVING REVIEW: A bizarre, wild ride that delivers dinosaurs, barely-there costumes, and enough over-the-top acting to fill ten drive-in theaters, it has no illusions about being anything other than a goofy, low-budget spectacle. Whether that makes it an overlooked gem of B-movie madness or an exercise in prehistoric patience depends entirely on the viewer’s tolerance for cheesy one-liners and gratuitous everything.
At the center of this prehistoric circus is Tony Markham, a Hollywood hero whose biggest challenge isn’t fighting villains on screen but dealing with the fact that no one takes his performances seriously. Played by Jeff Rector, Tony is an actor with more bravado than talent, constantly criticized for his stiff delivery and unconvincing fight choreography. His personal life isn’t much better—his girlfriend wants more screen time than affection, and his career seems to be headed straight for extinction. On top of that, he's haunted by dreams of gorgeous cavewomen and dinosaurs, visions that seem to call him toward something much stranger than reality.
Enter a mysterious ‘artifact’ because, of course, there has to be one. Tony is catapulted from his cushy but crumbling life into a land that time forgot, where dinosaurs roam free and women in fur bikinis (sometimes) share this world. Bar-Bee, Bran-Dee, and Mee-Shell welcome him into their tribe, led by the fierce (and frequently topless) Hea-Thor, played by Denise Ames. It doesn’t take long for Tony to adapt, mostly because he gets treated like the hottest new thing in prehistoric celebrity culture. But paradise doesn’t come without problems, and Tony soon finds himself in a battle between the tribe and their former male counterparts, led by a caveman named Big Mac…
Director Donald F. Glut wasn’t new to dinosaurs or genre filmmaking, and his love for both shines through. Though sparingly used, the stop-motion creatures have an undeniable charm reminiscent of the practical effects-driven monster flicks of the past. There’s something undeniably fun about seeing hand-crafted dinosaurs lurch across the screen, even if they don’t exactly steal the show. While it would have been nice to see more prehistoric chaos, the film is far more interested in reveling in its low-budget ridiculousness, from its caveman soap opera to its inexplicable chaos.
The performances range from gleefully exaggerated to completely indifferent, with William Marshall and Karen Black lending some unexpected credibility to the whole thing. Marshall plays Dr. Benjamin Michaels, a paleontologist who becomes involved in Tony’s strange journey for reasons best left unexamined. Meanwhile, Black takes on the role of Ro-Kell and manages to deliver her lines with the kind of presence that suggests she might have taken this role just for the fun of it.
The film sometimes struggles with its identity, unsure whether it wants to be a full-blown parody, a tongue-in-cheek adventure, or just an excuse to parade around as much nudity as possible. The result is a mix that will delight lovers of schlock cinema or test the patience of anyone looking for even a hint of coherence. It’s the kind of movie that knows exactly what it is but isn’t always sure how to make the most of it.
Despite its flaws, there’s something undeniably entertaining about watching a movie that fully commits to its madness. It doesn’t apologize for being what it is—a ridiculous, exploitation-fueled dinosaur adventure that exists purely to entertain. The effects, exaggerated performances, and nonsensical storyline all add to something that might not be traditionally "good" but is never boring.
This is a film built for a specific audience that appreciates B-movie excess, loves a good dose of prehistoric nonsense, and doesn’t mind if the plot makes no sense. It’s a chaotic mix of caveman theatrics, shameless camp, and low-budget spectacle, and if that sounds like something worth watching, then strap in for a wild one!
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[photo courtesy of VISUAL VENGEANCE, MVD ENTERTAINMENT]
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