When Routine Collides With the Mess of Love

Read Time:5 Minute, 28 Second

MOVIE REVIEW
Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t (Come ti muovi, sbagli)
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Genre: Comedy, Drama
Year Released: 2025
Runtime: 1h 37m
Director(s): Gianni Di Gregorio
Writer(s): Marco Pettenello, Gianni Di Gregorio
Cast: Gianni Di Gregorio, Greta Scarano, Tom Wlaschiha, Anna Losano, Pietro Serpi, Iaia Forte
Where to Watch: shown at the 2025 Venice Film Festival

RAVING REVIEW: Gianni Di Gregorio has built a career on capturing the overlooked moments of aging with humor and heart, and DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON’T may be one of his most direct reflections on how fragile stability can be. At 75, the director not only helms the film but stars in it as the retired professor whose days are disrupted by forces outside his control. What starts as a story of independence soon unravels into something messier, funnier, and far more affecting — a reminder that no matter how much we try to shield ourselves, family has a way of pulling us back into the mess of the real world.

The setup is deceptively simple: a man has reached a state of peace. He has a comfortable pension, a modest social circle, and a romantic relationship that never asks too much of him. His time is spent exactly as he wishes, with no pressing obligations. But when his daughter arrives at his doorstep, burdened by marital struggles and flanked by two children, his carefully maintained solitude shatters. The sudden intrusion of toys, tantrums, and adult disappointments forces him to confront a question that feels universal: Is a life without inconvenience a life worth living?

Di Gregorio excels at finding comedy not in gags but in the friction of human interaction. Watching the professor stumble through babysitting duties or try to mediate family arguments doesn’t lean on slapstick; it draws humor from the sincerity of his discomfort. Showing that life’s most ridiculous moments are also its most truthful. The children are less cute distractions than catalysts, embodiments of unpredictability that tug the professor back into a world he thought he had left behind. The film finds warmth in this chaos, presenting the complexities of family life as both a burden and a blessing.

What makes the story resonate is how it blends levity with melancholy. Beneath the surface lies a meditation on aging, loneliness, and relevance. The professor may grumble about losing his peace, but it’s clear that the noise in his home also quiets something deeper: the fear of fading into invisibility. Greta Scarano’s performance as the daughter adds to the story, illustrating how relationships continue to evolve even in adulthood. Their exchanges carry both love and exasperation, capturing the unspoken truth that parents never stop being pulled into their children’s crises, no matter how old either of them gets.

The supporting cast plays a key role in amplifying the film’s themes. Tom Wlaschiha, in a rare turn outside the thriller roles that made him recognizable, injects unexpected charm and grounding. Iaia Forte, though in a smaller part, brings weight and wit, giving the film a generational range that reinforces its universality. Each character highlights how relationships — romantic, familial, or friendly — refuse to remain static. No matter how carefully people guard their routines, others inevitably break through.

Maurizio Calvesi’s cinematography frames the home not as a prison but as a living, breathing space that shifts depending on who occupies it. At first, the professor’s rooms feel open and ordered, only to become crowded and cluttered once the family arrives. The shift is subtle yet effective, letting the visuals reflect the central upheaval. Ratchev & Carratello’s score leans lightly into whimsy without overwhelming the story, allowing the emotion to surface naturally rather than pushing sentimentality too hard.

This film feels focused on the emotional collision between solitude and responsibility. DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON’T is narrow in scope but sharp in its observations. It doesn’t aspire to grand narrative turns or high drama, but rather to showing how even a single change in circumstance can ripple through a person’s sense of identity. The title itself encapsulates the irony — choosing solitude or connection both carry their costs, but neither can be truly avoided.

Ultimately, the film succeeds because it doesn’t idealize either solitude or togetherness. The professor’s journey isn’t about choosing one over the other but about recognizing the inevitability of connection. Love, the film argues, is inescapable in all forms. It demands sacrifice, patience, and compromise, but it also gives meaning to an otherwise ordered existence. By the end, the chaos feels less like a punishment and more like a reminder that to live fully is to be interrupted.

Di Gregorio carves out a unique space in Italian cinema, one that values the humor and pain of aging without slipping into caricature. With warmth, wit, and just enough sting to avoid sentimentality, DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON’T reinforces his place as a filmmaker who sees comedy not as escape but as revelation. It’s a gentle film, yes, but one that lingers — a testament to the fact that peace is never permanent, and maybe that’s for the best.

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[photo courtesy of BIBI FILM, LES FILMS DU POISSON, RAI CINEMA, MIC]

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