How Do You Sell Mutant Turtles to Hollywood?

Read Time:5 Minute, 13 Second

MOVIE REVIEW
Italian Turtles
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Genre: Comedy, Satire, Short
Year Released: 2019
Runtime: 9m
Director(s): Vin Nucatola
Writer(s): Vin Nucatola
Cast: Nick Piacente, Chris D’Amato, Timothy J. Cox, Bj Gruber, Janel Koloski, Mary Ortega
Where to Watch: available to watch here: https://vimeo.com/289988552

RAVING REVIEW: Hollywood history is full of improbable success stories, but few properties seem more unlikely in retrospect than the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.’ Four anthropomorphic turtles trained in martial arts by a rat in the sewers of New York hardly screams mainstream appeal, and yet the franchise became a worldwide cultural juggernaut. Writer-director Vin Nucatola seizes on this irony with his 2019 short ITALIAN TURTLES, a nine-minute comedy that imagines the pitch meeting where it all might have begun. Equal parts parody and affectionate nod, the film thrives on deadpan humor and exaggerated performances that lean into the absurdity of trying to explain something so bizarre in a corporate setting.

The setup is clear: two men walk into a boardroom, drawings in hand, ready to convince executives of their outrageous idea. Nick Piacente and Chris D’Amato play the would-be creators, fumbling through the details of a concept that sounds like the fever dream of a Saturday morning cartoon writer who stayed up too late. Across the table, Timothy J. Cox brings his trademark authority to the role of the skeptical executive, while Bj Gruber and Janel Koloski round out the supporting cast with heightened reactions that underscore just how ridiculous the pitch sounds when spoken out loud. The genius of the short lies in how it balances disbelief with inevitability — because, of course, we know the pitch worked. The Turtles became a sensation.

Nucatola directs with a comedic tone, letting the script’s absurdity unfold without ever forcing the joke. Much of the humor comes from timing: the long pauses after outlandish statements, the raised eyebrows, and the slow dawning realization that something so strange might be marketable. The film avoids over-explaining, instead leaning on the familiarity of its audience. Anyone who grew up with the Turtles — through comics, cartoons, or movies — will instantly recognize the parody’s premise and find joy in the exaggeration. It’s satire that doesn’t need to spell out its target; the cultural ubiquity of the Turtles does the heavy lifting.

What elevates ITALIAN TURTLES beyond a simple skit is its sense of authenticity. The production design leans into an 80s aesthetic, from costumes to props, evoking the boardrooms where countless television ideas were hashed out. The slightly grainy, aged visual quality adds to the retro feel, as though the film itself might have been unearthed from a forgotten VHS tape. These stylistic choices give the parody texture, grounding the humor in a time and place that feels genuine rather than abstract. It’s less a modern spoof and more a time capsule built to both mock and honor the strange alchemy of pop culture creation.

Performance is central here, and the cast clearly understands the tone required. Piacente and D’Amato play their roles with straight-faced sincerity, selling their bizarre pitch with the kind of earnestness that makes it all the funnier. Cox, a seasoned actor, provides the perfect foil as the unimpressed executive. His reactions carry the weight of someone who has heard too many bad ideas yet can’t quite dismiss this one, no matter how absurd. The interplay between them gives the film momentum, keeping it from feeling like a single joke stretched too thin.

Beneath the laughs, there’s also a subtle commentary on how the entertainment industry operates. The film suggests that the difference between a terrible idea and a billion-dollar franchise may come down to timing, confidence, or sheer luck. The executives’ reactions oscillate between horror and intrigue, echoing the reality that studios often gamble on projects that seem ridiculous until they strike a cultural nerve. It’s a reminder that pop culture thrives on risk, and sometimes the wildest concepts are the ones that endure.

In the landscape of parody shorts, ITALIAN TURTLES distinguishes itself by being both affectionate and taunting. It doesn’t aim to tear down the Turtles or dismiss their impact, but rather to celebrate how strange their origin must have seemed. It’s a love letter in the form of a roast, a playful reminder that some of the most beloved cultural phenomena started as ideas too weird to believe. For anyone who has ever asked, “How did this get made?” the short provides a cheeky, fictionalized answer.

Ultimately, Vin Nucatola’s film succeeds because it captures the dual spirit of nostalgia and satire. By revisiting the past through humor, it reaffirms the Turtles’ place in pop culture while poking fun at the absurdities of the business that created them. At nine minutes, it’s a brisk and entertaining watch — one that doesn’t need to reinvent the wheel but simply rolls with it, pizza and all.

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[photo courtesy of DARK BARREL MEDIA]

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